I was a coward

About:
Almost after a month, here's something that emotion's distaste snickered me. Sharing a page off The Green Diary.

"I was a coward; I gazed at you without your knowledge. I was a coward to let open my heart.


I was a coward when I wrote poems. Poems that sang love. I was a coward to tell the truth directly.


I was a coward when I said its you. I got silent meanwhile. I was a coward fearing you may reject me.


I was a coward to lips 'I love you'. I was worried if you may kill our friendship. I was a coward not to be

with you.


I was a coward & spoke in broken syllables. I never knew you would propose me. I was a coward

surrendered to happiness.


I was a coward not to text you. I feared your father may know about up. I was a coward to lose you.


I was a coward to speak in Odia. I didn't want people to know I'm dis linguistic. I was coward to be

different from you.


I was a coward when I suppressed my heart. Your father had disallowed talking with me. I was a coward

to end our love.


I was a coward when I asked to break up. When you called crying your troubles. I was a coward not to

see you in distress.


I was a coward when I said "I'll wait for you no matter what it takes". When you were crying. I was a

coward as I knew I'll never get someone like you.


I was a coward when I waited for 8 odd months. I kept praying for you. I was a coward to stop the belief

in my devotion.


I was a coward when I masked my sorrow. When after an year we talked. I was a coward not to cry.


I was a coward when I cried. When you said all that happened just because of me. I was a coward to

suspend my breath.


I was a coward when I took smoking. I wanted to evade you from my heart. I was a coward not to

breathe the separation.


I was a coward to abuse you. I knew you wouldn't ever hate me. I was a coward to end it up my side.


I was a coward when I drove back to you. When you told you spilled blood with cough. I was a coward

for my own instinct.


I was a coward to wish you on your birthday. I was stabbing my own heart a hundred times. I was a

coward to talk to you again.


I was a coward when I stood by you when someone failed his promises and ditched you. I knew you

would tumble to depression. I was a coward to see you in tears again.


I was a coward to bring you an amulet. When you said somethings wrong. I was a coward to see your

dreams breathe reality.


I was a coward to kill myself. When after so much of kindness you said I'm a coward. I'm a coward to

stop my beats that beat for you.


I was a coward to this up in my diary. For someday I could show how it felt. I'm a coward to induce you

my suffocation.


I'll be a coward as I wont talk to you, wont pray for you, wont think of you. I wont believe on you too. I'll

be a coward disbelieving my belief, that blindness for you."

"8 Minutes"

Into the poem: This poem is another of my romantic flicks depicting the chronological scenes of a couples 8 minutes meet. a blend of emotions, love and romance its all about. Have a read and don't forget to hit a comment. :)

Those black eyes were grey, tired  & longed to imprison my glance.

Her lips though wet, were dry alike those seasonal rivers.

Bedside I stood gripping  her hands, preaching that love.

The sky went blue but sun lit with red, all over again.

Those visions unseen & tunes unheard were busy flattering our beloved souls,

And just she & I, stood gazing our eyes, falling in love all over again.

Staring on her eyes I whispered then,

“Loving you is alike a sleepless dream, I want you by my side

Be with me, just be mine, trust me along the voyage of life.

Within our chest there’s a heart with love unpicked,

Break that fence & then run to me,

All I want is a vacation of distance but love unabridged.”

A stream of pearls of tears flew down her wanton eyes,

Nothing her lips praised, they numbed and followed my heart.

Her unluscious lips were now close to my ears & whispered then,

“I love you my dear, I just love you

Where ever my feet are going, however far this may go...

Even if I’m faltering, I’ll follow your afterglow”

The liberty of wind made me feel the wetness of her hair,

The flagrant whispers of her lips then matched with my raised up beats,

The beats down her bosom was again that I felt,

Still that blend of breath was something unfelt,

Still my breath, her breath and our enslaved thoughts

Scribbled down an aurora of love, and sculpted the hidden tunnel of trust.

My hands then followed the course of the fallen dews of her eyes,

They wiped them off as the eyes that shut & ran to her dried lips,

And then went my lip and rubbed along her piece of skin.

Other hand of mine, pulled out that ring shadowed somewhere in my pocket.

I held her fingers and pushed that in.

And then kissed it up, and fell in love, and just fell in.

                                                               
                                                                 - Rukshan Ur Rahman

                                                                The Memoirs Of The Dark

"Just Love You"

Into The Poem: After a long period of poetic impotency, My nerves thrived to pen down some of my emotions about my Riza. And here is its formulation. 'Just Love You', a poem I wrote while reflecting my thoughts sitting near the banks of river Mahanadi. Hope you like it. If worth appealing don't forget to hit a comment and click on the 'Share' button.

Poem:
My burned and choked and dead heart,
Now breathes and sips a new leash of life,
As the curling winds touch my lips,
They burst those buried emotions at heart,
And make me fall in love again,
For all I've, is nothing but you,
For all I'll be, Will be for you,
For all I can is just love you.

A sea of words outlaw my lips to move,
But the hands of clock wont permit my mind,
I still remember those days, those days of distance,
They stalk me, they haunt me and crush me in bizzare nights.
Blind is the day, a day spent in vain,
Blind are my eyes without your view,
For I can fight my life and fight for you,
For all I can is just love you.

My love isn't just a relation of tangled emotions,
But the hush attachment of souls,
My life is in your arms, tears with your silence,
My beats in your beats, soaked with your beauty's rain.
For my love is pure, pure as the course of a fallen dew,
Turn all your sadness and turn to me,
Hug me deep, until I die with you,
For all I can is just love you.

Some moments of yours, the moments with mine,
They relent my thoughts and make me smile,
Your head falling on my shoulders and you hugging from behind,
The calmed body of yours, inclined to mine,
And that walk with me, are the memoirs I have,
My Shona, stand for me against those few,
And hold my hands, those hands waiting for you.
For all I want is to just love you.

My life is not meant to love and to be loved in return,
But to hold on with those promises when inside it churns,
I'm yours and you're mine, for all our life to go,
For you can screen my blood and halt their temptuous flow,
Kiss me whenever I'm alone,
For whom I can kiss, is just kiss you,
Drown me in your eyes, For my world is you.
Love me alike, as I just love you.
                                                   - Rukshan Ur Rahman

“The Nostalgic Depth”

Into The Poem: This poem is my exclusive extrusion into the depth of romanticism. Simple dedication to the one who has been there through each and every walk of my life. Hope you like it. If worth appealing do leave a comment and don't forget to click on the share button.

The blue vault above, the unclouded sky,

The depth of the ocean and their uncensored cry,

All Things benign, and those wings that fly,

Seem to sing a tune for a dainty angel;

The angel of my dreams, my love, my ably. 

 My frozen beats have shifted their course,

It’s a year since they have released and dropped,

Dropped on her sweet lake of untiring eyes,

For her eyes that quench my thirst at core,

And the lids that spray the fountain of care.

The glamour of pink fused with her lip’s heavenly smile,

Conceal my soul as if surrendered to life,

And crown my lips, as to them, it rub.

For her lips once gifted a flavoured kiss,

And drowned my temptations onto their depth.

I felt her breath, below my neck,

As I hugged her bodice with a pleasant reck;

The fragrance of her skin Felt alike mosaic perfume.

The grid of her arms shrined deep passionate love,

For our hearts that touched, and fused, and glued.

The things undone and the things to be done,

Will carve a blanket on us and turmoil be shunned,

Just me and the core of her, once a startled soul,

Shall shuffle our love, shuttle the once enslaved dreams,

And Azure our minds and release its debt.

They said ,”If people are truly and deeply and madly in love,

They’ll find a route, they’ll find their way.”

The Fruition of enslaved dreams shall breathe in life,

Just wait for the moments to dip and sink in time.

I sense a future weaved with love, in which I’m yours and you’re mine.

                                                                                                            - Rukshan Ur Rahman

 Rahman

www.rukshanpoems.blo

The Prophecies of a Startled Soul

Into the Poem: The Poem is about a girl’s love for her beloved. Forsaken by the curse of religion, She agonizes the distance between them and hopes for the return of love in her life.

Poem:
The cult of dreams have manifested over the distant distance,

As he walks along towards my deep shadow,

The moment I’ve been waiting for,

With love I’ve been waiting for.

The mistful journey over the distant horizon,

Have freezed to the fragments of time,

And crawling on parts of my mind.

The deep buried hopes pop out from the grave of loneliness.

The glare of his eyes still alienate my pulse,

It’s the sweet converse; I’ve been waiting for,

With love, I’ve been waiting for.

The Dispatched destiny opens up alike an awakening bud,

The oracle of love still swims my heart,

As the zenith of disgust is torn apart.

Down went his eyes, towards my lips,

And his lips, it moved, to greet a smile,

The forgotten smile, I’ve been waiting for,

My sterile womb of life, was impregnated with love,

The potion of love, I’ve been waiting for.

He said “I love, but I can’t”.

And stabbed my ribs, against all that I want.

For we have crossed the mistaken meridian,

And walked over the green mile of silence,

The dreadful silence, I’ve been hating for,

It’s his love, I’ve been waiting for.

The loop of mutiny and the contrastive religion,

Conceive my mind, and bury the seeds of discord.

Love me my Dear, and hold my hand against all odd.

Why this religion? Why this sea of detachment?

My wet eyes burn for touch of cloth of your love,

The touch of love, I’ve been waiting for.

With love, I’ve been waiting for.

I hate this religion that built a wall.

For I know I can’t change the moving winds.

But can adjust my sail, to reach you, my destination.

PS: I had a crazy dream about this situation, So wrote this poem along a Girl's perspective. :)

                                                            

                                                                                                                  -Rukshan Ur Rahman

"NEMESIS"

                                                                                                   NEMESIS

Into the poem: The name of the poem ‘NEMESIS’ meaning destiny is about a lovers destiny in love. The poem is a kind of a pallinode on hope. The whole scene of the poem is presented in a beach during sunset. It speaks of a lover’s sanity towards love.


Plot: The poem speaks about a deserted lover who losses her beloved. The poem starts with the eyes of the girl, whom the guy chases down a lonely beach. Suddenly the girl’s leg hit a stone and her anklet breaks off. The girl keeps running and the guy runs to pick the anklet which he once presented her as gift. After picking up the anklet, the guy looks for her beloved but he doesn’t find her. It seems as if she’s lost. The guy cries for her, but all his shouts go in vain as he isn’t able to trace her. Broken with his heart, The guy sits on a rock and waits for the day until she returns

Poem:


Down she went looking but my eyes,
Crushing the pebbles, towards the drowning sun ran her bare feet,
It were the eyes that shifted the curse of my lone,
For the blackened bulb glistened the kiss of love,
The showers that sprinkle, The roses that mingle,
Nothing seemed mystique but her eyes.




Splashing the wave’s orange water,running went she.
Chasing her footprints did run my heart,
She’s the one for whom it beats,
She is the beauty of my nimble nemesis, My life is she.
My hoofs paused for a moment and eclipsed the queer,
As her legs staggered against the stone unseen, which tore her anklet round.




She didn’t halt her wavering legs, but running kept she,
Dwindling went her grey shadow over the blistering silt,
For I crawled my eyes to chase but a memoir of love,
Here and there and everywhere did trench my eyes,
And alas did spot the gift, sneaking about a gloomy crag.
Tempted to apprise her charm, zipped my heart and picked it up.




For the moment I smiled and looked for her,
But she was gone, Lost in the allusion of a deserted flight,
I cried, I screamed, I squalled out loud,
But nothing of her being was traced nor found.
She infringed my feelings and poisoned my love,
She Shattered my beats with the curse of lone.

My eyes wont scorn for her brazen deed,
Nor would it efface the look of her alluring feet,
I wont refute her love for delusion’s distaste,
And bitter the memories which were once sweet,
But would wait over this stone, Until the day she returns,
And fight my Patience till the remainent conceals.

                                                                                                                   - Rukshan Ur Rahman